so today (at the urging of ronda) i went to see a dermatologist to have him check out my moles.
little did i know he would find two of them so facinating that he would want to keep them. (the sicko probably has a mole collection in back of his office.)
he was particularly excited by the irregularly shaped mole on my back. he gave me two shots of a local anesthetic and the proceeded to cut it off. he then cauterized the newly minted hole in my back with some chemicals. after that one he moved onto another mole on my chest. this one was much larger, but at the same time much less interesting since it was nice and round. regardless he thought it would make a good addition to his collection so he gave me about 5 more shots of anesthetic and continued to cut and cauterize away.
after all this fun he managed to inspire me with confidence by telling me that i should start applying spf 15 every morning. even though i take a train to work and sit in an office building without a window all day long, i'm still exposed to uv radiation for short periods of time during the day, and research has shown it's the cumulative effects of these short exposures that can lead to cancer. how come now one ever warned me about this earlier? unfortunately i hate sunscreen, but i also don't think i'd enjoy cancer, so after thinking about it for a bit i've decided to never leave my house again... and to stay away from all the windows. i blame ronda.